The story of Peter Pettigrew
by Parvatti
Summary: Peter never wanted to hurt the Potters, so what DID happen around that faithful halloween? AU... probably... R
1. The Capture

**The story of Peter Pettigrew, Or: The way I wish it had been.**

**Betaed by my friend: She-elfgirl**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, still don't and unfortunately never will…**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

CHAPTER 1 – The Capture.

He sadly hugged himself, why did he always have to go after shiny things? He had always had a weakness for jewellery. He blamed his rat nature… and where had it gotten him? In a holding cell in You-Know-who's lair. Captured, just because he couldn't resist the temptation of something glistering in the night. He silently cried to himself, trying to get some sleep.

It was impossible, horrible images of what they could do to him kept running around his thoughts, making sleep a nightmare. Suddenly he heard footsteps outside the doors, stopping right in front of his cell. He wanted to disappear, or hide, but it would be of no use, and he knew it. The door slowly creaked open, in its frame stood a death eater, with mask and all. He quickly strolled towards him and pulled him roughly off his stretcher. He got pushed harshly through several corridors, all dark and imposing, finally reaching a huge door leading to an even bigger chamber. Peter looked around scared, Deatheaters were filling the hall, and at a throne he could see HIM. He got pushed forward roughly in the middle of a circle, in front of the throne.

"Master." Said the death eater that had gotten him out of the cell, "Here he is, our way into the trust of the marauders." Peter got even paler, they couldn't find out, they had gone through so much to keep James and Lily save he just wouldn't be able to bear it if they found out. "Crucio." Came the harsh voice of Voldemort, hitting the deatheater square in the chest. A pained scream filled the room. "You will speak when spoken to, not the other way around." Voldemort slowly rose from his chair and walked to Peter, who slowly, scared tried to back away.

"Well, well… if it isn't Peter Pettigrew." Voldemort nearly spat the words. "Loyal friends of the marauders… well, let's see what you have to say to me. Legilimens!" Immediately Peter got flooded by memories of his friends: The day they met, the sorting, them getting friends, the finding out of Remus being a werewolf, them becoming animagi, inventing the marauders map, even some of their pranks. It all crashed down on him as a giant wave. And last, it came, where Voldemort had always been after. The fidelius curse. He saw Voldemort finding out the casting, the making of Sirius as secret keeper. Peter was so happy they hadn't picked him. He didn't think he would get out of here alive, and that frightened him terribly, but at least his best friends would live on safely.

Suddenly Voldemort pulled back and got a big smirk all over his face, he had found what he had been looking for. "My my, Fidelius charm hey? Did that old fool really think I wouldn't find out?" he laughed. "Well, mister Pettigrew it does seem like you'll be alive for a little longer. You are going to help us." Peter was still sitting on the ground out of breath, he didn't like what he heard at all, one thing he could understand though was that he apparently was going to help… going to help? HIM? Betray his friends? "NEVER!" He yelled out making his disgust known. Now everyone started to laugh. Voldemort smirked again. "Do you really believe to have a choice?" He pointed his wand at him and said: "IMPERIO"

Peters mind went pleasantly blank, all sorrows and pain had disappeared into nothing, it just didn't seem to matter anymore. Then a voice got through to him. "Mr. Pettigrew you are going to help us are you not?" Then a smoother voice came: "Say yes, you know you want to." Peter tried his best to resist, he needed to resist. Apparently he waited to long because the curse was lifted, the only thing he could hear was the word: "Crucio." He yelled out because of the searing pain spreading through his entire body, he had never felt it before. He didn't know how long it had lasted. It could have been seconds, it could have been hours. When that curse was lifted, again he heard the word: "Imperio" this time he couldn't resist, he simply didn't have the strength to do it anymore.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He woke up back in his cell, and everything he did while under the curse came rushing back to him. He rolled up into a minor ball and started to cry desperately; unable to believe what he had done.

He had tortured and killed, A LITTLE GIRL!

The little amount of food he had left in his system quickly came out, and he sat back down, hugging himself, tears still rolling down. It felt like hours had passed when something to eat came shoved into the cell. Peter couldn't eat it, the thoughts of what he had done kept interfering. He felt so guilty.

After an eternity his body gave in and he fell asleep nightmares plaguing his last place of rest.

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_(Dream sequence)_

_His friends were looking for him, he could see. The problem was, they were looking right at him, and yet they couldn't see him. He tried to talk, then yell and make any kind of noise but it was no use. They left, leaving him behind in the dark. He started to hear noises a while later, and hoped they had come back, that it had just been a joke. _ _But instead of his friends he could see a huge snake slithering towards him. Suddenly he found himself in his rat form, and started to run, but it didn't help, the snake was much faster then him and somehow he found out he wasn't able to turn back to human form. He dashed, but got stuck in some wires he couldn't get out of. and started to squeek loudly trying to call for help, but it just echoed through the forest, reaching no-one's ears. The snake kept getting closer…_

_Next dream:_

_He found himself standing on a street, looking at the house of his friends, it was burning. The dark mark hang high in the sky illuminating the street. Creating a picture of death. All he could do was stand and watch his friends suffer. From behind him he heard a cold laugh fill the air, he swirled around and could clearly see the face of Lucius Malfoy. Surrounding him stood a legion of death eaters all looking at the house as if their dreams had come true. _

_He heard voices yelling from the house: _

"_Peter what have you done!" "You betrayed us! YOU WERE OUR FRIEND!" _

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

He woke up screaming, the last four words echoing in his mind. He felt incredibly guilty, because he knew what would be coming With the imperious curse they were going to make him hurt his friends HIMSELF!

Perhaps it would be better if he ended it himself, ended himself! Better one then all… a small smile graced his features for the first time while he was there. It reminded him of lily who had brought it up this quote once in a conversation, he thought for a while doing his best to remember it… owh yeah: "all for one, and one for all." It had been something they had used quite regularly after that. Perhaps that could be the case here…

He was startled out of his thoughts when he door opened with a bang. Through the doorway came a death eater, he was then again grabbed and dragged harshly, his bruises from the last time worsening. When he entered (or was more like thrown) into the room the surroundings looked exactly like last time, Voldemort awaiting with a smirk on his face.

"well, well, our guest has returned, I guess you had fun last night?" Peter's face distorted, a grimace taking place, he almost got sick again. He didn't have the feeling for long though, a new wave of Crucio washed over him, and soon he found himself lying on the floor withering. Still, this time he was almost thankful, just for a few moments he would have something else to worry about then the past and the possible future. (if he even had any.)

Then the third Imperio, of what he presumed would be many more, took away every consciousness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N : Well, this is the first chapter, of what I'm hoping are many more to come… **

**Please read and review everyone.…**


	2. Revelations

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything of HP, just some movie posters.**

**A/N; Again, thanks to she-elfgirl for being my Beta.**

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**CHAPTER 2.**

**Revelations.**

When he woke up, for a moment he couldn't recognize his surroundings, it weren't the bare walls he had been staring at for the past… he didn't know… Long time anyway. He didn't really have time to take it in before his memories caught up with him. Apparently he had been under the curse way longer then the last time. He cried out.

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Memory Sequence_

_He was sitting on a chair in a cosy living room drinking tea, Sirius entered the room bearing cookies. He was laughing at something, probably whatever Remus had said, who entered the room after him. Sirius threw himself in a chair, and Remus calmly sat down on the couch, next to Peter, who seemed to want to crawl away from him as far as possible, but that look went unnoticed by the two._

_Remus began talking to Peter, who didn't even looked like he was listening, instead he was staring off into space. This went unnoticed by the two. Sirius himself seemed to be focused on something else as well, though it couldn't be the spot at the wall he was staring at. He had been that serious ever since he was entrusted to be the secret keeper of James and Lily, a task that had finally make him grow up. If not a little to rapidly. _

_After a few minutes Remus finally seemed to notice the lack of response of Peter. "Peter, are you alright?" it seemed to shake him out of his 'ponderings' "I'm fine," he said… a little to quickly, and Remus raises his eyebrows. His hands rose, "no, really, just have a lot on my mind you know?" as he rubbed his forehead. _

_A sigh came from Sirius, his first sign of live after sitting down on the chair. "Don't we all." He says morbidly. Remus looks from Peter to Sirius and shrugs, "alright, I give up, there's just no talking with you." _

_Sirius looked up and said: "Why don't we all go for a walk? It's beautiful weather, and I think it will do a good job cheering me up." Remus and Peter both stood up as in confirmation, and Sirius changed into his dog shape for safety precautions. Since it wasn't that far they decided to walk there instead of taking the risk of apparating. _

_It was indeed a nice day, though it was getting colder because of the autumn, the sun was shining, and there was hardly any wind. One of the last good days before the rains would start. Sirius was having fun running through the leaves, indeed loosing the depressing thoughts that had been occupying his mind a little before. Peter on the other hand, didn't seem to improve, he was still staring into nothing, while sitting on a bench in the middle of the park. "Peter?" Remus asked worriedly, as he looked up in response, he could see an owl coming in his direction. He looked bewildered. The owl landed, and Remus recognized it as one of the school owls. I wonder what that's about. He thought. Peter took the letter, and opened the seal. As he read through it, his eyebrows shot up. "Padfoot!" he yelled, "Come over here!" _

_Sirius came running over as soon as he heard him. He barked once, asking what was going on. _

"_Dumbledore says he wanted to speak with us." Peter said._

_In his head Sirius thought: Already? That man really doesn't waste his time. But he didn't voice that thought, not wanting to alert Remus._

_The three went home as quickly as they could, and after a hasted goodbye Sirius and Peter left. Leaving Remus to feel miserable for not being included in whatever was going on. _

_The duo arrived quickly in Dumbledore's office, a wild look came over Peter's face when he noticed Lily and James sitting down, waiting for him._

_But that look was gone as soon as it had appeared. Luckily for him, no one seemed to have noticed. Dumbledore's chair turned around, and the man_

_had a look over his face that didn't bode well. Sirius had walked through the office and now stood behind Lily and James, the four of them were_

_staring at him and he started fidgeting. "Peter, we have something to tell you." James started, taking a shot. He looked at them for a second, and then turned his gaze downwards again. "You see, we, that is to say, Sirius and I came up with an idea." Peter looked up again, and this time his gaze lingered. "w-w-what kind of i-idea?" he stuttered. _

"_You see Peter," Dumbledore began, taking over from James, who looked at him gratefully. "You know about the Fidelius curse don't you?" Peter nodded in response. "You also knew about Sirius being secret keeper didn't you?" "yes" Peter muttered softly, he had found out by accident._

"_We think it's a better idea if you were the keeper, it would be a lot less obvious." There, the bombshell was dropped. _

_Peters mouth fell open. "What?" he asked hurriedly. "Relax my boy, we shall give you time to think about it. It is a great responsibility after all._

_We can't expect you to make the decision in a hurry." "Come back tomorrow, and give us your answer alright?" Dumbledore talked calmly, as if it was just a grade he was giving. _

_Peter looked shocked, _(They probably hadn't expected it to be that easy, Peter thought ironically)_ He went to the fireplace, "I… I… I'll think about it, promise. I… I… need to go now, excuse me." And he fled through the floo. Leaving a pondering Dumbledore and a dumbfounded trio behind. _

_After that, there was a period of black he couldn't remember anything about_

_End Memory Sequence_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

He could remember it all now, the entire conversation, the visit, the plan, and suddenly, the greatest fear he had ever had was washing over him, they were planning on making him the secret keeper! They COULDN"T, not HIM, not now. He felt honoured they trusted him enough with the task… but… The information would fall into HIS hands immediately!

He had to get out of there he thought, NOW!

He looked at his surroundings again, he was in a real room this time. Still… it was spare, with only a bed, a desk and an empty closet in it… yet, it was better then the empty walls of the cell he had been sleeping in before.

He started looking around, trying to find something he could get through. All he could see was a tiny hole, probably from a mice. Then a thought hit him, he felt so stupid he hadn't thought of it before. He could've gotten away in an instant. He shook his head, he really was slow in the uptake.

He immediately began to concentrate on himself in his rat form, and he felt the beginning of the transformation, suddenly he heard the door to the room open. He was startled, and quickly lifted his head to see if he was going to be dragged away again. But instead of bursting in like previously, this death eater silently opened the door, and looked in carefully.

Peter was now confused, this wasn't behaviour he had gotten used to. The Death eater lifted himself up fully and whispered; "Well now, hurry up a bit, we haven't got all day Pettigrew, I'm here to get you out."

Peter was shocked as he felt himself get up, and walk towards him, he recognised the voice from somewhere, he was certain he had heard it before. But he sounded so sincere, he couldn't help but walk.

"Who… who are you?" he whispered, and the death eater looked straight at him, or so it seemed, since he couldn't see anything behind the mask. The Death eater raised his hand and pulled off the mask. Peter recoiled, he couldn't believe his eyes! That man! It was…

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N; And Yeah, I know my use of the Imperious curse is a little different then J.K. Rowling hers, but I made my own version of it…**

**Next chapter should be up not to long from now, I've gotten the idea for it all worked out (in my mind…)**

**Please review. **


	3. Attempted Escapes

**Disclaimer: don't own anything related to Harry Potter, I'm not making any money of this (such a shame…) **

**This chapter was "again" betaed by my friend Sheelfgirl, thank you ever so much.**

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**The Story of Peter Pettigrew;**

**CHAPTER THREE.**

**ATTEMTED ESCAPES.**

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was Regulus! "BUT!... YOUR SIRIUS BROTHER!" he nearly screamed, now recognizing the young Black, who had always been talking down on Sirius in school. His recognition also earned him a hit over his head.

"I said BE QUIET." He whispered angrily, "we can't risk being heard, it will get us both killed, now hurry up." He whispered, quickly pulling Peter along with him through the dark halls. Peter tried to backtrack where they were going, but quickly gave up, the numerous halls were to much for him to count. He just prayed the young Black was being sincere, and that this wasn't all a part of the great 'plan' of Voldemort.

They seemed to walk for hours and Peter wondered how it could take this long, was the place really that big? If so, why wouldn't they just apperate? He could've hit himself over the head when he thought of that, off course they couldn't, if it would be that easy to find this place, the ministry would've tracked them down already. It had probably also been made unable for people to be in animagus form, Voldemort would probably have made sure about that..

He silently let himself get pulled along, until he felt another tug, surprised Regulus let go, and Peter could feel himself get roughly thrown in a room, a small squeek escaped his lips. But, when he looked up, he could see that the assault wasn't meant for him, but for Regulus.

He couldn't see the face of the man that was talking, but that wasn't necessary, because, even though he wasn't able to recognize Regulus voice, this one he knew and feared by heart.

"What in Merlins name do you think your doing Regulus!" he shouted. Regulus quickly made hushed movements, in sign that he should be careful with the strength of his shout. "Don't bother, I took ample safety precautions" he said. "Now Spill, you KNOW this was my job don't you." "Yes I do, but." Regulus tried to defend himself, but he got cut off. " Then why on earth are you doing this, if you get caught!" "That's the whole point isn't it!?!" Regulus started to shout as well, "WE CAN"T risk having you get caught! YOU are the one HE trusts Severus, if I get caught it won't matter much, they don't KNOW about me now, do they?" A dumbfounded silence met his words. "They NEED you Severus, you NEED to be here for THEM, if I get him out without notice, I'll just disappear, because he WILL find out who did it Sev, and you already are on a thin line remember?" Severus sighed, he knew his friend was right, and yet. He had planned it so thoroughly, the whole escape, and now to have Regulus jump into it without thinking, it screwed up the entire thing.

If the situation hadn't been this severe Peter probably would've laughed, the two were fighting like an old married couple. And yet… the two people he had always considered to be the most likely Death eaters in school were actually part of the good guys. It was an odd revelation.

"Regulus, look…" "NO YOU LOOK! You weren't here the last meeting were you?" Severus shook his head, he had been out for another assignment.. he had been looking for some rare ingredients for a potion Voldemort would need. "see, the Potters are planning on using our Peter here as Secret Keeper." Severus looked shocked "So they used the Fidelius curse?" he asked bewildered. "YES! And if we don't stop them, they are going to use Peter here as the keeper, and the Potters will walk straight to their doom!" "I wouldn't be to sure about that." Severus muttered, and now both Regulus and Peter looked at him weirdly.

"Not after the Potters? Then why is he so damn fixated on finding them?" Regulus cursed. "He's after Harry," Severus said, and Peter's mouth fell open, WHAT?!? He thought. Before he could ask, Regulus said: "Who is Harry?" from the ground he could hear a mutter. "Harry is James and Lily's son." He looked down and could see Peter still crouched down from behind Severus. Peter looked at Severus with questioning eyes, as he also had turned.

"W-W-What does he want from Harry?" he stuttered. "That's a long story, and we don't have the time, nor is this the place to tell." Severus said sadly. "Now we really need to get going…" again he was cut off by Regulus. "HAVEN"T YOU BEEN LISTENING?!?" YOU! Need to go, get your ass as far away from us and the exit if possible, he CAN"T find out you were even the slightest bit involved, and don't worry, he won't find out from me, I'm a bit decent legilimens, I'll just avoid those memories, NOW MOVE IT!" Regulus pushed Severus towards the exit, and with once last glance, he left.

For a moment, the room was silent, giving Peter a few moments to get used to the idea. It had been strange for him to see Snape like this, for the first time as far as he could remember Severus hadn't looked at him with disgust, hatred, or one of the other many looks the young man had, instead, there had been determination, and unbreakable strength. It was like the man had found something to live for, something he found worthy.

He didn't have more time to think about it, since Regulus interrupted the line of thought. "We really need to go." He said impatiently. Peter stood up, and said. " I'll walk by myself now." Regulus looked at him questioningly. "I've been pulled around to much around here already, trust me, I'll keep up." Regulus nodded, and looked out of the door, he turned his head and whispered "It's safe, the exit shouldn't be to far from here, let's go." He opened the door fully, and started on a quick jog, Peter followed in his wake.

When they turned around the corner, they could see a large hall, that seemed to go on forever.

"I'll tell you the way," Regulus panted, a little out of breath "Just in case something happens. It's simple now, at the end of this hallway, there is a stairs on the left side, take those, on the top of it is a door, it leads outside, when you get there, run, it doesn't matter where, just run."

"Why do you think something will happen? Everything went flawlessly didn't it?" Peter whispered. "That's just the thing, NOTHING ever goes smoothly here he answered, and he could see Peter pale. "don't worry though." He reassured him "I'm sure we'll be fine."

After a minute though, an alarm sounded, and Regulus grabbed for his arm, hissing. "SHIT!" he yelled, "they found out… RUN!" and Peter sped away, only centimetres behind him. Still, they could hear footsteps closing in on them, there wasn't much time.

Peter felt some air brush by him, he thanked the gods they had missed with the spell, but then he heard a curse, and he could see Regulus tripping over. Peter jumped, so he wouldn't step on him. He stopped and turn around to look at Regulus, from the far end of the hall, he could see Death eaters closing in on them, but it was clear Regulus couldn't run anymore, the curse had shattered the bones in his leg.

"Peter, you HAVE to go." He said, Peter started to protest. "No, quickly, you have to get out, it's okay, I told it, it knows," he muttered, Peter started to wonder if he was delirious from the pain, but he continued. "I- I told it to tell him." He whispered, he sounded pained. "Don't worry, It won't turn against my orders, I'm still it's master after all." And: "It will be alright, I-I told it to tell Sirius, Sirius should know about it all by now Peter, it wouldn't dare disobey me, NOW RUN!" he yelled, pushing Peter away.

Peter ran as hard as he could, harder then he had ever run in his life. The Death eaters where right behind him, casting curses. Peter tried, against better knowing to turn to his animagus form, but it failed, nothing happened. So… he kept running. He found the stairs Regulus mentioned and ran upwards. But before he could open the door, it opened from the outside, a death eater stood on the other side, with an obvious smirk on his face. Peter took a step back, but missed the stair, he tumbled backwards.

His world went black again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

In the mean time, the Death eaters had caught up with Regulus, who was still lying on the floor in pain, though he didn't voice that. He looked up, right into the faces of his parents, who looked at him stunned. Not angry, not condemning, just questioning, like they couldn't believe who it was they were seeing with their own eyes. It made him feel good about himself.

"Why?" did his mother ask. He smirked "all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you" He rhymed. "you know, those muggle's you hate so much, they do have a way with words. Now his fathers face hardened "How DARE you talk to me about those.. those THINGS." He spat out. Regulus got up, balancing himself against the wall as not to fall over. "grow up… Father." He spat back, "The time of the purebloods is over, we are a dieing breed, accept it, embrace it, and perhaps the Black line will have a chance of surviving. Haven't you noticed? You threw out Sirius, and I really don't have any chance of surviving, don't you think?" he said sarcastically. "Neither of us will be able to carry on the bloodline, and the rest of the family is wedded under a different name. With our generation, the end of the Black's shall arrive. Ironic isn't it?" he shrugged "The oldest pureblood name is ending, and no one but me has noticed it, the family that tried to survive for generations, the most ancient and noble house of black will be no more after you 2 and me die."

"that's rubbish." He heard his mother argue, "What about Narcissa and Bellatrix? They both are Black's." "You really aren't listening to what I was saying were you?" he said with a smirk on his face. "Narcissa and Bellatrix aren't officially Blacks anymore are they? I believe they are now known as Mrs Malfoy and Mrs Lestrange, so I stand correct, in a few years, the Black line will be no more then a fading memory in the hearts of the wizarding community.

"The Muggleborns will take over, and if you indeed try to get rid of them all, you haven't met the muggle community yet, off course, you can get as many "dark" creatures as you want, but they have some extraordinary items, that I'm sure will give you all quite a scare."

"Lastly, Muggleborns aren't ignorant, stupid or incompetent, have you ever looked at them? The way they adapt to our kind, our way of living? I would say they are so much better then we are, we are so blind, we don't evolve, we keep being stuck in the same way of living, we are the ones that need to get their act together, not them."

"What happened to you? You are no son of mine!" his father spat again, rage standing obviously in his eyes. "I just accepted the truth, Father" he returned to him. "and as much as you deny it, it is simply there, now you must accept it, just like the fact that I am, and always will be your son."

"Your lucky the Dark Lord ordered the traitor not to be harmed, or I would've killed you right here." Orion Black said to his son. "I'm sure you would've loved that wouldn't you?" Regulus asked, "I'm so flattered our 'lord' spend time thinking about little old me." He said sarcastically.

"What happened to you my boy?" his mother asked him, just like his father had twice before, cutting off the dark conversation the two had been having, she used a small, sad tone. "Spare it mother, I've chosen Sirius' path. It seems that, after all, he is the only one in this family with a decent brain stuck in his head."

After that Regulus could say no more, Orion had pulled his wand and Paralyzed him, he toppled over, knowing his end would be coming, and yet, he couldn't find it in himself to mind.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N; **

"all I want to do  
is be more like me  
and be less like you"

**These lines are from the song Numb by Linkin-Park so, just as I said in the disclaimer, I don't take credit!**

**No cliff-hanger this time, I was surprised how everything just flowed out this chapter though, everything just seemed to go right (that's also the reason for the quick update XD)**

**It can be very well possible that the next chapter will be a bit longer to get finished, it will depend on the time I'll have…**

**Please review, CONSTRUCTIVE!!! Criticism appreciated.**


End file.
